The Day I Realised Knee Operations Make You Dumb!

Was chatting with I*D*I*O*T on msn.. poor thing she just had an op on her knees. As she kept asking me to update me blog, this entry is dedicated to her... get well soon! *oh remember to thank the doc for the knee op but tell him tt the brain op wasnt THAT successful...*

[18:58] jereve: where u going
[18:58] jereve: tell me lah
[18:58] jereve: i'm dying to hear abt the outside world
[19:01] *alpha*: liverpool won e euro cup
[19:02] jereve: yea
[19:02] *alpha*: erm u haven been out ah... *if only she saw me devilish smile at this point in time*
[19:02] jereve: yawn
[19:02] *alpha*: oh today's nudist day in orchard...
[19:02] *alpha* : quite fun
[19:02] jereve: huh serious!
[19:02] *alpha*: but i wld prefer some of the gals kept their clothes on
[19:03] jereve: i'm sure they kept most of their clothes on
[19:03] *alpha*: erm not really
[19:03] *alpha*: which part of nude do u not understand?
[19:03] jereve: really ah. i tot they wouldn't allow that in singapore
[19:04] *alpha*: vietnam has declared war on canada.. but Singapore nvr put in in the newspp or telly....
[19:04] jereve: whaaat?!
[19:04] jereve: vietnamn has declared war on canada??
[19:04] jereve: since when? over what?
[19:04] *alpha*: taka got demolished.. MJ decided to shift his ranch there...
[19:05] jereve: DAMN YOU!
[19:05] *alpha*: okies at wch one did u stop believing me?
[19:05] jereve: :'(
[19:05] *alpha*: okies watch out for me blog entry
[19:05] jereve: damn damn damn you. don't u dare!
[19:06] *alpha*: erm.. say something nice? *or more fun.. say something stupid!*
[19:06] jereve: a s s

[19:54] jereve: argh, i'm logging off
[19:54] jereve: any good shows tonight
[19:56] *alpha*: heh got.. in cinemas
[19:57] *alpha*: and as vietnam at war with canada.. singapore's imposing curfew....
[19:57] jereve: oh lucky me
[19:57] jereve: i cant' go out anyway
[19:57] *alpha*: yeah aint much to do anyway, since taka been torn down
[19:58] jereve: well at least u had fun at the nudist party
[19:58] jereve: whatever... grr. bye, have fun tonight!

The Days I Can't Stop Moving

Friday (20th May 2005)

Its amazing wat the little rascals can can pack into 35mins. *Bloody hell even an episode of "Zhen Qing" can't cover so much*

10th Min: Boy fractured arm while playing soccer *goodness and it was due to e ball hitting his arms.. freak accident*

15th Min: *While i was attending to Mr Broken Arm* 2 boys playing soccer decided to have a fight by slapping each other

25th Min: The basketball boys suddenly stopped playing and returned to the parade square. They all looked freaking pissed *I later found out that it was cos one team was playing bloody rough*

27th Min: Amidst all these shit the Sith Lord decided to take an inspection walk around me area of ops *Sigh.. there goes my recommendation report*

35th Min: The badminton rascals refused to play with this gal from RoadRays *a school for kids with special needs*. And as armageddon was happening all around me, I can't stop to play with her. Suddenly her supervisor appeared, scolded and punished her for disturbing us.. sigh..I felt really guilty and went to explain to e supvervisor that she wasn't disturbing us and I am fine with her playing badminton with my kids.


Saturday - Sunday (21st - 22nd May 2005)

Its amazing what I can squeeze into 35 hours:

1700-1800: Hair Cut *darn the auntie just refuse to trim the turf of hair aka me fringe

1800-1915: Brought me mum to visit me grandma in AMK hospital

1915- 2100: Dinner with Bro @ me house

2200-0005: Drinks, @ Zee10. Man U vs Arsenal. DOwned 1 & 1/2 bucket of Hoe Garden. Watch a bloody boring 90mins with score tied @ 0-0. Butthead and Bro tried picking up the waitress IN MY NAME while i was visiting the toilet. Poor gal, she was so scare that she did not dare to pick up her pencil cap which dropped onto the floor. Again its up to me, the "Cher" to clear up all this shit. No more Zee10 for me... think the bartender will piss into our beer e next time we go.

0005-0130: Skipped the extra time of the boring match and supper-ed near Esplanade with Butthead & Bro. They had clams.. I HATE clams.. look so bloodied and all...

0130-0330: Returned to SimpleVille to camp in for the nite. Needa bring me kids to National Stadium @ 0530. Had a nice talk with Jedi Master Choco on Dry Ice. * Jedi Masters: Choco on Dry Ice, Cartwheeler and Hair-Straightener are what brightens me day @ SimpleVille! Colleagues really play a big part in how much you like your job! In addition they are useful for: kanna-ing police record cos of me, looking after me kids for me *so i can go bio chio bus during Big Walk*, cartwheel tumbling and keeping me sane and NOT allowing me to bring the air rifle to class.

0330-0445: Slept. On wooden table outside staff room. Cold and uncomfortable, but not that it matters cos me sleep felt like it lasted only 37 seconds. The alcohol in me was still causing a mini hangover...

0445-0600: Spent worrying that me 16 Jedi Trainees wont make it in time for the bus.. eventually 2 didnt and needed to go to the stadium on their own personal imperial tie-fighter.

0600-1200: Big Walk!!! Was in hper-drive screaming and organising me kids. Wow, we won!!!! *not first, but considering we beat some of the JCs, its a good achievement!*

1200-1300: Rushed home and lunched. Zoom out again to blade.

1300-1800: Bladed @ ECP. Darn kept falling down as I am still getting used to me new blades. They are freaking fast and I cant really get the hang of the brakes.. kept falling down.. scary

1800-1900: Dinner @ home

1900-2200: Concussed

2200-2300: Woke up by 4 missed calls. Received activation orders from Butthead, required to report for chionging by 2300.

2300-0300: Thai Supper Club and Madam Wong. *Okies lets not talk abt it, badly alcohol-ed badly*

0400: Slept.

My REAL Identity!

I have been following the recent splat of blog scandals with great interest. In order to come out in strong support for the freedom of speech and the right to unfettered expressions, i have decided to courageously reveal my real identity! No! i am not the hunky and handsome boy *erm whose photo has been safely, erm i mean bravely and rightously removed*, I am Jar Jar Bink - General of the Gungan Grand armies!

Footnote:
(1) The organisation I am currently working for will henceforth be referred to as "The Coordinators" *extracted from Gundam Seed* Heh Blog scandals, who's afraid of them!? Phew, now there's no needa look over me shoulders everytime I say FUCK!

(2) Darn I just found out Jar Jar Bink is also one of the most hated Character of Star wars fans. Hmm... but i like him, nice cute and COWARDIC! Heh keep me alive and safe in one piece. Luke, u can keep ur Jedi light Sabres thank you very much. I guess u will be the one needing "The Force" when ur body has been sliced in half by Darth Vader.

The Day I Became An Invigilator.

Hello


Qn 2(i): ;Pls doodle on ur exam scripts should u be unable to answer a single fucking question. [0 marks, but well u get to piss the invigilator off]


Yay the rascals are having exams!! Heh its pay-back time! I shall pretend not to see them when they raise their hands for more paper or keep circling their desks to distract them from the paper! Hmm the following are things I noticed while invigilating

(1) 2 guys promptly fell asleep within the 1st 45 minutes

(2) I woke both up and soon one started drawing ultramans *see picture above*

(3) There was this gal who was seemingly writing a novel.. I made about 3 trips to resupply her with paper. I was afraid the string will snap when she attempt to tie up the paper together.

(4) I saw one gal combing her hair using the reflection from her stapler

(5) While patrolling the Exam Hall, I suddenly felt like us teachers are playing PAC-Man.. avoiding each other, making sure we are not patrolling the same columns

(6) There are people with uglier handwritting than mine.

(7) In the last 30 minutes, I became a high-speed DHL delivery boy rushing much needed supplies to those desperately attempting questions as well as those who needed more paper to complete the entire ultramen family & the evil monsters

(8) I learnt to memorise the following:"All right, time's up. Please put down your pens and stop writing. Check that you have written down your name on the question paper."

** But on a serious note, I really feel happy whenever I wake up a student and the little rascal actually sit up and start attempting his/her paper again... of course I must drop by frequently to ensure he/she isn't drawing Star Wars Episode 3 **

The Day I Jumped Off The Train @ Sentosa

Yes.. for those who haven't heard about it, me - the foolish one jumped off the Beach Train at Sentosa. Haiz.. looking back, I must agree tt it was an extremely foolish and dangerous act *To all gloating bastards/bitches yes its vv in line with wat alphamale normally gets himself into*. To those wondering why i did it: lazy me jumped off so as to "stop" nearer to our camp site.. stop I did.. just too abrupt and painful for me liking.

God *if there's one* must have been smiling at me, cos I survived with a few minor bumps and cuts. *There was another on coming tram, luckily it stopped to pick up passengers, else I would have became "alpha-head", "alpha-body" & "alpha arms" *parts sold seperately, batteries and brains not included* No doubt God also had a good laugh at me stupidity. Over the past couple of months, me body had taken a few hard knocks:

(1) Lost quite a bit of weight
(2) Injured me back while bowling
(3) Pimple out-break *bad*
(4) Injured left wrist while using ABS Roller in gym
(5) Injured left hand and hips while jumping off train in Sentosa...

Time to start renewing me insurance policies...

Firers Watch Your Front!

My Target Board - After 300 rounds, fired at distance of 2 metres. Scope-equipped air rifle.

Yeah finally! I am able to post pictures! *The fucking "Hello" program refuses to work for my blog!* Heh the NPCC Teacher-In-Charge (TIC) offered me a chance to try out shooting in the school's Air Rifle range.. heh an offer he will no doubt live to regret *devilish smile* The air rifle is rather heavy... and the target still looked freaking small in the scope. Yes I suck at shooting *see pix above*... I figured the only way to shoot well is to stop breathing *so that the rifle does not bob up and down*.. which I did.. till me face turned blue. just managed to squeeze off the trigger before I pass out.

Still pondering how to convince the TIC to loan me one of the rifles to bring to class.. wow.. think of the wonderous possibilities: (1) I can aim the rifle menancingly at me students and say "Now u all fucking shut up and turn to WBK page 37, you all got 10 mins to complete all 40 qns.. Unless u all wanna end up like Raymond over here...*at this point i will promptly kick Raymond, whose lifeless body will be lying on the floor*" (2) I can lock me "favourite" sec 2 class in the football field and use them for target practice *1 point for gals and 2 points for boys*!!

Maybe I can send the target board to MINDEF to siam reservists! It should convince them that I pose more danger to me fellow comarades then the enemy..

For Honour & Glory

I wrote the following piece for me track team's blog. Really like it!

For Honour & Glory

I believe its time to explain why the motto "For Honour & Glory" was chosen. This motto is identical to that of Singapore's Armed Force's elite organisation - the Commandos. It entreats each member of *SimpleVille* Track Team to achieve the following:-

Honour entails our team member to possess Integrity, Pride and Sportsmenship. We must always display Humility in victory and Graciousness in defeat. We and our actions are a reflection of the Team and the Team is a reflection of ourselves.

Glory can only be achieve through Hardwork and Perserverance. We must always remained Focused and Never Give Up. We know that as long as we have given our best, the entire team will be behind us, always.

There is a reason why Honour comes before Glory, because Glory without Honour is just a hollow victory.

We must always remember the above.

The Day I woke up with the Whole World Crying

Woke up late this morning. Spent the nite at Butthead's house with Bro. Realised that the whole world's crying.. parents of me friends on msn, then another friend sms me tt she was crying as well. I believe crying is not a sign of weakness - it is the courage to let out what’s inside you. Cowards believe and fear they will be judged as weak when they tear, the brave just tear freely cos they simply are not afraid.



I STARTED A JOKE (Bee Gees)

I started a joke, which started the whole world crying,
But I didn’t see that the joke was on me, oh no.

I started to cry, which started the whole world laughing,
Oh, if I’d only seen that the joke was on me.

I looked at the skies, running my hands over my eyes,
And I fell out of bed, hurting my head from things that I’d said.

Til I finally died, which started the whole world living,
Oh, if I’d only seen that the joke was on me.

I looked at the skies, running my hands over my eyes,
And I fell out of bed, hurting my head from things that I’d said.

’til I finally died, which started the whole world living,
Oh, if I’d only seen that the joke was one me.



The above was a song tt me uncle loved to sing while bringing me to kindergarten. I always felt that it had been written by a clown. A conversation with BOZO on “clowns” had always lingered in me mind. He said: "Clowns are the loneliest people in the world". I could almost see the tears in his eyes when he said tt. Yes we two had the distinction of being appointed the role of clowns in our group of friends *yes we all slip into roles within our group of friends/colleagues/relatives.. don’t u agree?*.. its like every-time we speak, pple expect something funny.. Admittedly it gets a little tiring sometimes, but well personally I feel happy when I make pple laugh!