Saturday, April 30, 2005

The Day I Got Diagnosed with Compulsive Restiveness Disorder

I have been diagnosed with Compulsive Restiveness Disorder *also known as "Fucking Piss the Teacher Off Syndrome", darn must have been infected by the bloody rascals* now I will:

(1) use my pencils as drumstick and knock to the beat of Hotel California intro once every 30 seconds

(2) walk around my class/staff-room/bedroom/Principal's Office, attempting to disturb everyone within a 2 metre radius, once every 25 seconds

(3) ask a completely irrelevant question to whatever is currently being discussed once every 20 seconds

(4) doze off once every 15 seconds, and when Cher ask me to go wash my face, I will return to class only AFTER the bell rings

(5) when the teacher punishes me (which happens once every 10 seconds) by making me stand up *one of a few primitive avenue of punishment still avail to a teacher*, I take it as a direct order to go on an inspection tour of the class, recruiting more stand up kakis in the process

(6) raise my hand and tell my mother I wanna go to toilet once every 5 seconds *yes this is the only time kids raise their hands their mental psyche seem to convince them that hey since I am following the rule of raising my hand when asking a question, do fucking let me outta the room before I make a retaliatory strike*

(7) and am condemned to rocking my chair on 2 legs every second for the rest of my life, or whenever the teacher turns his head - whichever comes first.

It seems that MOE is trying to shut down my site... they claim that I am disrupting their recruitment drive... emm.. darn.. watever gave them the ideal... FINE if that how they wanna play it! I shall doze off every lesson and tuck out my shirt every time the Principal is not looking! Hrmph!

Saturday, April 23, 2005

The Day I Give a Loser Club Update

Hmm Loser Club seem to have reached rock bottom, with love unemployment rate at 8 year high of 50%! *Big Head, Anal Boy, Yours truely, Klim & Bro* On a bright note, I have to commend Butthead for his efforts in trying to prop up the statisics by have 3-4 GFs at one go. *I hope none of your GFs read me blog*

Life has been busy & lotsa fun! Much of my life revolves around teaching & my Track Team. Hmm.. in fact its about 87% track team, 3% teaching and 49% trying to stop me kids from killing each other (both during lessons and track training). *Ok my math is bad, sue me!* Darn who cares about teaching when you have a Track Team to build from scratch! Its like playing Championship Manager and taking a 3 Division team. The team was disbanded about 1-2 years ago and we had to go around grabbing new members. Heh to give u pple an ideal how lousy the team was, the first race I sent the C div relay teams to is against the primary schools... and we lost. However what was once a rowdy gang of runners is slowly but surely taking shape as a track team. *I cant help feeling other teams at Bishan Stadium probably hate us cos we are always freaking noisy!*

Fears. Well my greatest fears in life are WS, RDY, 2TB, 1TA, 2TA, PPT in that order. Heh actually PPT should be in front, frankly I havent thought of what I will do should I flunk the next PPT.

Plans. None, backpacking would be good! Oh Fishbowl is back alone in China! I fear for her.. erm wait I fear for the Chinese population at large. Look out for this weird camera wielding thingy who stares intently at everyone, horses, flowers and peeing kids. Sharkie is going to Turkey and stopping over in Taiwan! Wow wow.

Love. None. Darn anyone looking for 26/Male Hunk. Heh not in a rush.. just miss the pro-creating bit.

The Day I Remembered a Conversation that Took Place in 1997

Me: "Wow! That's a pair of cool spikes. Where you buy? How much huh?"
She *puzzled look*:" Erm.. I dunno.. its sponsored one"

Me *blushed*. We did not talk again for 3 months. You know, sometimes when i am bumming around, nothing to do.. I will think of how she's doing, if she's married and why hasn't she returned me my Teenage Textbook Movie VCD!!!

Sunday, April 17, 2005

Time for some nostalgia

Hello people! Got the following from an email. What do you guys remember from yester-years? Do drop a note should u remember anything that had been left out!

Time for some nostalgia......

Signs that you are a 70s/early 80s baby:

1. You grew up watching He-man, Transformers, Silver hawk and Mickeymouse. Not to forget, Ninja turtles, Mask and Smurf too. Girls watched Japanese cartoon like - xiao dian dian, hua xian zi etc.

2. You grew up brushing your teeth with a mug in primary school during recess time. You will squat by a drain with all your classmates besides you,and brush your teeth with a colourful mug.

3. You remember the packets of milk we get in primary school to encourage us to drink more milk.

4. You know what's Bin(1) Fen(1) Ba(1) San(1)is all about.

5. You know what SBC stands for (not simply bo-chup but the actual one!)

6. You are there when the first chinese serial, The Awakening, is shown on TV.

7. Internet? E-mail? What the hell is that? So you thought a decade or more ago.

8. Your friends don't have pagers or handphones in primary or secondary school.

9. SBS buses used to be non-airconditioned. The bus seats are made of wood and the cushion is red. The big red bell gives a loud BEEEP! when pressed. There are colourful tickets for TIBS buses. The conductor will check for tickets by using a machine which punches a hole on the ticket.

10. Your favourite actor and actoress is Huang Wenyong and Xiangyun. Next is Li Nanxing and Chen Liping.

11. You've probably read Young Generation magazine or Bookworm Digest. In primary school, the Bookworm Book Fair is frequently there, you enjoy the stage performance they held to entertain us children.

12. You are there when they first introduced MRT here. You went for the first ride with your parents.

13. CDs? What's that? Cassette tapes were the norm.

14. You remember how an entire Microsoft Word program can fit on to a single 5.25" 360K diskette.

15. Movie tickets used to cost less than $5 last time.

16. The goodies from Mama shop used to be Chickadees, Ka ka, Kum Kum, Xiao Ding Dang choco balls (with toys in the box), colourful hard "egg" sweets, "cigerette" chocolate,pink bottle of bubbles, and small tubes with yellow sticks to blow "more lasting" bubbles that you can pop more air in or slam it on someone's forehead when it's broken.

17. Your favourite sound is the bell! For it's the homemade ice cream man! The cream that tops Haagan Dazs! The pink colour ice-cream with eyes plus a wide smile. And the other peddler you love is the old lady who sells juicy muah chee and thick golden syrup rolled in a ballon the tip of a chopstick / stick. Another bell is the recess bell, a time to get away from school work and to eat.

18. Your favourite childhood gamea were playing "go li"(marbles), five stones, zero-point, catching, and/ or "Pepsi-Cola one two three"!

19. The best thirst quencher of all times is the yummy colourful ice tubes you can buy from provision shops. To eat them, break the tab and suck while holding the freezing tube!

20. And your favourite holiday was Lunar New Year! New clothes, ang pow, shopping, junk food and family gatherings!

21. All gals have a barbie doll/strawberry shortcake/my little pony/pound puppy while all boys have a star wars figurine or a rubber band catapult that shoots folded paper!

22. Your favourite bedtime story is Enid Blyton's storybook collection, especially Naughtiest girl in School!

23. One of the first musical insturments you can easily hold a tune with is the recorder. Sound of music was the first most touching love story you knew, other thanPrincess and the Pea, Princess and the Frog, etc.

24. Wrigley's Chewing gum, tattoo bubble gum, 4 chewing balls in a small box with orange, grape and strawberry flavours.. not forgetting the most lasting bubblegum in original, grape and even watermelon flavours!

25. In secondary school, girls go to the Library to borrow their favourite romance storybook.

26. In secondary school, girls altered their school skirt to shorten it and guys will go to the school appointed school uniform tailor shop to tailor make their school trousers to the then fashionable "baggy pants"!

27. Back then in secondary school, especially neighbourhood schools, girls like to sit with their legs wide open...so guys usually will steal a look at their...u know what.

28. In Poly days, girls from the Business Studies (BS) will doll up with tons of makeup on their face. I was told by my guy friends from the Mechanical Engineering that those girls from BS will sit on a higher platform, with their legs slightly wide open, they used this method to hook guys...in other words, flirt.

29. During primary school days, the teacher will punish you using a ruler to hit your palm.

30. A bowl of noodles soup cost only 20c in primary school days.

31. When you were in primary school, girls like to go to the bookshop to buy cute stuff such as animal erasers, sharpeners, notebook etc.

32. When you were in the early years in primary school, your teacher will encourage your class to buy stamps to stick on the POSB saving card.

33. There used to be drive thru cinemas such as the Jurong DriveThru.

34. Yaohan departmental stores used to be a favourite hangout for families during weekends.

35. In secondary school days, you buy the Bata BM Turbo school shoes. Some guys like to wear those china-made ankle high shoes. Some even like to wear those very thick socks with their school shoes.

The Day Ma's Site-Counter Finally Over-take Mine.

Yes, ever since my proposed tie-up with the leading porn sites *to link my blog to theirs* fell through, the writing has been on the wall. Sex sells and my blog is no match for sexy Evil Twin's long legs and the Big Breasted Monsters. Ma's site viewership finally overtook mine. The following are excerpts of my surrender conversation:

*alphamale* says: ma ur counter has officially overtaken mine.

*alphamale* says: helped by the fact tt i constantly visit ur page to see if it had overtaken mine

*Ma* says: isit? i go check! hahahahah u idiot!

*alphamale* says: Oh in tt case chk mine first hor, u might needa refresh on me apge a few times to get the real counter readings.

The counter battle is lost. Heh but not the war.. as u might have noticed, I have hyperlinked all the words in this sentence to me blog, so any accidental clicks will up my counter.. erm dun believe? TRY IT!!!!

The Day I Started Blogging Again

Hi all! Darn, Ma's blog's site-counter is fast catching up with mine! I guess clicking "refresh" non-stop on me blog's page is just a short-term solution, thus it is time for a new entry! The following are a few quick takes:

Ma has started an all out site-counter war, and she plays dirty manz! To up her viewership she posted sexy leggy pictures of me *Evil Twin* on her site.. luckily I am smart, after visiting her site like 300 times to see the pic.. I realised that I can SAVE the picture as my wall paper!! Woo hoo

Education through Love, Reason, and a 5.56mm Semi-automatic weapon! Yes I am into me 4th week of my teaching career. Still alive, barely.The lowest point was the day I encoutered a series of unfortunate events - 1 wallet and 2 handphones were stolen from 2 different classes.. haiz then the parents came and life screams misery for a few sad hours but well what can't kill me makes me stronger.

I failed PPT. Yes, as expected I flunk the bloody test... think NIE can get listed on the SGX soon, considering the amount of revenue its getting from me PPT fees! Well the bright note is that I pass all stations, but only got 7 points total *need 9*. Special thanks goes outta me bro who spent numerous mid-nights filming me attempts at cartwheeling *i.e. me smashing me shoulders and head against the floor*

Butt-head patched up with his GF *as expected*. Klim broke up with his GF *highly unexpected, and this will surely shorten me odds of winning me bet with Bro* One of me new fav activities is to bum out on the weekends with Bro and Butt-head *pubbing/ktv/bowling/stayovers/laptop repairs*!! Heh and they have started on this MP3 recording craze! Murdered tracks include tong hua/Sha Mo De Di Qi Tian/Looking through your eyes. And loserly me sprained me back while bowling.. me personal best stands at 98 points!

Going to start me class room lessons next week! Wish me luck people!